IRISH SATIRIST AND AUTHOR

Jonathan Swift, the brilliant Irish satirist and author, would have had a novel idea for getting rid of collection harassment and debt. I imagine that his modest proposal would involve debtors giving up their children to the state to clear out all debts. If they insisted on keeping their children for the sake of love or some other such nonsense, then bill collectors would still have to come around eventually. However, should the bill collectors cross the lien and their behavior veers into harassment or into law-breaking of any kind, then as a penalty their children can be taken away for them. And if they happen to be childless at the time, they can simply sign away their future children. It will probably be quite easy for them, given they have no attachment to children that haven’t even been born yet. Then homeless shelters would have a vast new supply of meat to make the tastiest sandwiches for the vagrants and perhaps even put together fine new, soft leather coats for them to wear and stay warm during the long, harsh winter. Best of all, gas prices will go down since there won’t be as many people on the road since they won’t be parents nagged into driving their children everywhere.